I have learned more about myself than I have in my entire 22 years on this planet.
meghanisauselessname asked: You're welcome, I really liked it.
:) more to come.
llvnos asked: Did you write the poem 24? Or warsan? It's perfect
I wrote it :) it was definitely inspired by her work though. Thank you for the reblog. I’m really happy the poem resonated with you.
I hope you like. EP coming soon.
I’m no good at these transitions.
When does seeing someone
Turn into dating someone
And then being in a relationship with someone
Fill in the these hazy blanks please.
“the year of letting go, of understanding loss. grace. of the word ‘no’ and also being able to say ‘you are not kind’. the year of humanity/humility. when the whole world couldn’t get out of bed. everyone i’ve met this year, says the same thing ‘you are so easy to be around, how do you do that?’. the year i broke open and dug out all the rot with own hands. the year i learnt small talk. and how to smile at strangers. the year i understood that i am my best when i reach out and ask ‘do you want to be my friend?’. the year of sugar, everywhere. softness. sweetness. honey honey. the year of being alone, and learning how much i like it. the year of hugging people i don’t know, because i want to know them. the year i made peace and love, right here.”
― Warsan Shire
Don’t you fucking dare.
Put all this independence into jeopardy.
Your closeness. That kindness. Those damn kisses.
I remember this feeling.
All. Too. Familiar.
It is terrifyingly tangible now.
I’m anticipating the abandonment.
I’m waiting to be blindsided.
Who could love this?
This basket case?
I do not understand.
I distance. I cower. I pull backwards.
I retreat from the front lines. Scared, scared, scared.
Do not kiss my forehead.
Do not share your secrets with me.
Do not compliment my figure.
Do not nurse my fears.
Do not split a six pack with me on the roof, gazing at the skyline.
Do-not-do-not-do-not drink coffee with me.
Or make me a fucking mix CD.
Every song meticulously chosen to inflict emotion upon me.
Do not tell me my singing voice is pretty.
Do-not-do-not-do-not make me think of new philosophies.
And open my eyes about art.
Do not hold me in your arms while I cum.
I will not let you lead in this.
I will leave you before you leave me.
I will beat you to the punch.
These lessons I’ve learned have not been for nothing.
I go to bed at single digits
and wake up in double
I lay still in my bed, trying not to wake you up
You sleep near the headboard
all closed off and such
I’m anticipating your departure
Come the second you wake, so quick to start your day
Never wanting to linger for morning love
Because that’s not what we have
Something not even close.
Just mutual crutches imitating a rose
But it’s okay, at least nobody knows.
We will never be real
I still use cream with my morning coffee